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Stuck in old patterns

You've managed to do quite well for yourself in spite of some difficulties during your developmental years. Perhaps your upbringing wasn't exactly a picture of nurturance and support. Perhaps your parents were difficult, harsh, critical, judgmental, overly fearful, neglectful, emotionally unavailable, or even abusive.

You refused to continue their legacy of dysfunction, and have chosen to live life differently. You've done a pretty good job. You've been aware of how much difficulty it created and you've tried to break the pattern.

You've had some success in forging a different path. But nevertheless you've found yourself stuck in some way. It may be that you find yourself unable to deal with imperfections in yourself or others. Perhaps you are too 'soft', always trying to please others while your own needs never seem to get a look-in. Perhaps you find yourself avoiding conflict so much that unresolved problems mount up to produce the occasional melt-down. Perhaps you find yourself with sensitivities around being right or being in control, and can't seem to stay calm and centred when those sensitivities are triggered. Perhaps you need constant reassurance that others like you, and find yourself anxious and ruminating on any sign of disapproval. Or perhaps you find yourself in a spiral of negativity that you can't shake - always saying no, always pointing out the problems, criticising, or expecting the worst.

There are many patterns that can emerge as a result of difficult experiences during our developmental years - these are just some common ones. These patterns get in the way of our ability to flourish in life. They leave us feeling disconnected from others, always at risk, never really sure that life can be trusted.

We reach a point where we really want to get un-stuck. We realise that our stuck-ness is a painful place. It sucks up our energy and often our joy. But we've tried everything we know how, and we haven't been able to shift it. It just keeps playing out in our lives, over and over, like a broken record. Sometimes we manage to distance ourselves from it for a while, but it's a bit of a boomerang....it always comes back. We decide that we don't want to live the rest of our lives this way. We need some help to crack it; to change the record.